Instead, I find myself in this small house, with dirt on the ground and spit up on my shirt. The sink is filled with dishes and laundry is calling my name. My toddler is taking toys from her baby sister, but at least my boy is playing outside.
You see, I long for a house of our own with mortgage payments instead of a monthly rent. With no solid income and a label of "unemployed", owning a home is no where in our future. Yet I still find myself wasting my days away looking at homes for sale.
What do these dreams accomplish? How do they benefit my current situation? You see, I am told to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:8), for this is God's will for me. How silly have I been! This is what God has planned... for me.
The house that I was confident I would be happy to rent is now the house that I anticipate leaving. What kind of thanks is that? Both Jesus Christ and my husband see my ungratefulness that I have been blinded by.
Sure, a bigger house with more bedrooms and green grass would be better, but if I am not grateful for what I have now, how could I be thankful for what I long for?
As long as I live I will always want something more. The truth is my home is not on this earth, but rather in Heaven. What I am truly longing for is my home in Heaven, only there will I be truly satisfied with every situation. Until then, I need to allow the peace of Christ rest in my heart and be thankful in every situation (Colossions 3:15).
What helps along with giving my worries to God, is making the most of what I have. Instead of browsing dream homes we will never own, I can put my effort into making this house more of a home for our growing family. So here's to learning to be grateful and to giving thanks for a roof over my head and a husband and three lovely children to share it with.